Running With Respect
Last year I found out about a "sport" that some runners in events will partake in. It goes like this.....The runner purposefully hangs around the last in the corrals and start dead last. Then they use their race to see how many people they can pass along the way. Those they pass are referred to as "roadkill".
Now those of you who know me well will realize straight away that stuff like this rolls off my shoulder. I mean, come on, big, tough man! You are passing women and children; people who are using running to overcome drug addiction or depression; people who have physical limitations but are still out there doing it; those who are dealing with the after effects (or current effects) of domestic violence; those who are trying to lose weight so they won't die, etc. Kind of makes you feel like a superior tough guy, doesn't it? You must be so fucking proud of yourself!
But, what about the people I just mentioned above, who may not have found their voice to state how this really makes them feel?
Let's back up to about one year ago. I've been in a running group for quite some years now. You know, one of those fun, Disney-centered, charity-based ones. For every runDisney event, our group gathers before the start time for a group photo, and most of us meet up afterwards for food and/or drinks. The people in the group are absolutely some of the best, kindest, and fun people you will ever meet. And yet there is always that one in a group.....
During a runDisney event last year, the aforementioned big tough man in our group set out to make as many road kills as he could. This really hurt some feelings among members in the group. Some of us wrote directly to big tough man to state how we felt, and ask him to not do it around them again. Many of us wrote to the "Leader of our Band" to state our feelings. I specifically asked our "Leader" for only one thing. I asked that our Leader ask the big tough man to NOT do his road kill antics at runDisney events because we have a large number of our group meeting up, and it really does have an effect on some in our group. I received a reply from said Leader that whilst he understands, he will not get involved. Really.
Forward to this very weekend at the runDisney Princess Half Marathon Weekend. Big tough man did it again. He did his road kill antics at a runDisney event, after I specifically asked our Leader to ask him NOT to do this at events where we know the group will meet up. I could care less what you do at non-group events. A better use of your efforts would be to work on your own PR's.
This is not respectful at all in my mind's eye, especially when you KNEW how this affected some in the group. Big tough man knew a year ago how he made others in our group feel, and yet set out to do it again at another gathering of our group. I can only hope that feelings within my teammates were not crushed again this weekend. Some of my friends did amazing things in their events this weekend. I'm so proud of so many of them.
If my feelings and requests are not important to the "Leader", or to big tough man, then how many others are not as well? Leadership is more than group photos, or group events. It is far more than always trying maintain positive attitudes, no matter what the cost. Sometimes it does take hard discussions to make a group better.
Now those of you who know me well will realize straight away that stuff like this rolls off my shoulder. I mean, come on, big, tough man! You are passing women and children; people who are using running to overcome drug addiction or depression; people who have physical limitations but are still out there doing it; those who are dealing with the after effects (or current effects) of domestic violence; those who are trying to lose weight so they won't die, etc. Kind of makes you feel like a superior tough guy, doesn't it? You must be so fucking proud of yourself!
But, what about the people I just mentioned above, who may not have found their voice to state how this really makes them feel?
Let's back up to about one year ago. I've been in a running group for quite some years now. You know, one of those fun, Disney-centered, charity-based ones. For every runDisney event, our group gathers before the start time for a group photo, and most of us meet up afterwards for food and/or drinks. The people in the group are absolutely some of the best, kindest, and fun people you will ever meet. And yet there is always that one in a group.....
During a runDisney event last year, the aforementioned big tough man in our group set out to make as many road kills as he could. This really hurt some feelings among members in the group. Some of us wrote directly to big tough man to state how we felt, and ask him to not do it around them again. Many of us wrote to the "Leader of our Band" to state our feelings. I specifically asked our "Leader" for only one thing. I asked that our Leader ask the big tough man to NOT do his road kill antics at runDisney events because we have a large number of our group meeting up, and it really does have an effect on some in our group. I received a reply from said Leader that whilst he understands, he will not get involved. Really.
Forward to this very weekend at the runDisney Princess Half Marathon Weekend. Big tough man did it again. He did his road kill antics at a runDisney event, after I specifically asked our Leader to ask him NOT to do this at events where we know the group will meet up. I could care less what you do at non-group events. A better use of your efforts would be to work on your own PR's.
This is not respectful at all in my mind's eye, especially when you KNEW how this affected some in the group. Big tough man knew a year ago how he made others in our group feel, and yet set out to do it again at another gathering of our group. I can only hope that feelings within my teammates were not crushed again this weekend. Some of my friends did amazing things in their events this weekend. I'm so proud of so many of them.
If my feelings and requests are not important to the "Leader", or to big tough man, then how many others are not as well? Leadership is more than group photos, or group events. It is far more than always trying maintain positive attitudes, no matter what the cost. Sometimes it does take hard discussions to make a group better.
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